{"id":3580,"date":"2017-12-27T20:14:29","date_gmt":"2017-12-27T20:14:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/abidingfathers.org\/?p=986"},"modified":"2021-01-16T06:59:18","modified_gmt":"2021-01-16T12:59:18","slug":"five-habits-of-an-effective-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abidingfathers.org\/five-habits-of-an-effective-father\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Habits of an Effective Father"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In our pursuit to be better dads, we looked at habits of financially successful people as well as resources from those who, as Theodore Roosevelt said are \u201c\u2026actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who come short again and again, because there is no effort without error\u2026\u201d. In the arena of fatherhood, our leadership is marred by a series of errors, but to error means you are at least present, not absent.<\/p>\n<p>Tom Corley \u2013 accountant and financial planner surveyed over 200 successful people (financially) and here are a few of his observations.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>88% dedicated 30 minutes or more each day to educating or improving themselves through reading<\/li>\n<li>80% pursued goals (evaluated daily and long term)<\/li>\n<li>They avoided wasting time<\/li>\n<li>They pursued positive relationships \u2013 limiting their exposure to toxic people<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The National Fatherhood Initiative\u00ae developed <a href=\"https:\/\/www.fatherhood.org\/fatherhood\/7-habits-of-a-247-dad\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The 7 Habits of a 24\/7 Dad\u2122<\/a> , an 8-hour workshop that combines <em>The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People<\/em> by Dr. Stephen R. Covey with the fathering principles of NFI&#8217;s 24\/7 Dad\u00ae program.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Resources from dads who are in the arena<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>Five Habits of an Effective Father<\/h3>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">1. Stretching Your Children<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">If you\u2019ve done any weight lifting, you might know that in order to build muscle, you must break it down, actually tearing fibers of muscle before it repairs and increases in size. The stretching and tearing and nurturing (protein intake and rest) will provide for healthy and strong muscles. You read stories of effective leaders who\u2019ve overcome challenges in life. Much of their growth has come on the heels of a tragedy or major life challenge.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">James 1:2-3 \u201cCount it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.\u201d Average dads try to rescue their children from painful situations. Effective dads are wise about allowing their children to struggle at times and helping them prepare for trials.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">2. Expressing Joy<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">We have a duty to show our children what joy is all about. What good is it being an effective dad if we and our children are miserable? It starts with an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings, literally.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">3. Listening<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. \u2014Dr. Stephen R. Covey<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/abidingfathers.org\/store\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><em>From Faith to Faith<\/em><\/a> has some wonderful insights on listening and questions to ponder. Here are a few (pg. 53-55):<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Focus and concentrate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Make eye contact when possible.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Listen for what might be unsaid.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Observe body language.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Ask them later about your discussions to show concern and interest.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Ask pertinent questions as opposed to offering advice.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Hugs sometimes are the best and maybe only answer after listening.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Don\u2019t judge after someone has share personal items.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">How would you rate your listening skills?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">What steps are necessary to improving your listening.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">4. Praying<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">You have a huge responsibility and challenge to raise children. Are you just surviving as a father or are you an effective leader? I believe much of this can be answered according to the time you commit to prayer. Look at all the time Jesus spent in prayer. The Bible is full of models for prayer: 150 patterns of praise, petition, and devotion are contained in the Psalter. As analysis of light requires reference to the seven colors of the spectrum that make it up, so analysis of the Lord\u2019s prayer requires reference to a spectrum of seven distinct activities: <em>approaching<\/em> God in adoration and trust; <em>acknowledging<\/em> his work and his worth, in praise and worship; <em>admitting<\/em> sin, and seeking pardon; <em>asking<\/em> that needs be met, for ourselves and other; <em>arguing<\/em> with God for blessing, as wrestling Jacob did in Genesis 32; <em>accepting<\/em> from God one\u2019s own situation as he has shaped it; and <em>adhering<\/em> to God in faithfulness through thick and thin. These seven activities together constitute biblical prayer, and the Lord\u2019s Prayer embodies them all. (<em>Praying the Lord\u2019s Prayer<\/em> \u2013 J.I. Packer)<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">5. Loving<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u201cAbove all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins\u201d. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Love is spending time with your children. Love is praying for your family. Love is sacrificial.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Questions to ponder from the book <em>From Faith to Faith<\/em>:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Did you hear your father say he loved you, and how does that make you feel?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Have you ever said, \u201cI love you\u201d to all your children?<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019d like more resources or help in being an effective dad, take a look at <a href=\"https:\/\/abidingfathers.org\/store\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><em>Abiding<\/em> Fathers<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In our pursuit to be better dads, we looked at habits of financially successful people as well as resources from those who, as Theodore Roosevelt said are \u201c\u2026actually in the 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