The Curse of Autopilot Parenting – Part 1

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The Curse of Autopilot Parenting – Part 1

Autopilot parenting

In this episode we talk about one of the most common mistakes dads make in their relationship with their kids without knowing it. Find out what Autopilot Parenting is and how it leads to disastrous consequences. We cover why this is a mistake many “good” dads make as well as what dads should expect from their kids if they don’t identify this mistake and take steps to correct right away.

Losing your kids while they’re still alive should make you shutter inside.

That’s the reality for many dads who didn’t realize the long-term effects of being on autopilot. The kids grow up and the dads don’t know their kids and the kids don’t care. Ouch! The relationship is dead. And it’s a death that is alive and well… well, if only Dad knew where autopilot parenting would take him. Listen up Dad! Your kids won’t be bothered to have a relationship with you then if you aren’t bothered to have a relationship with them now.

When was the last time you meditated and thought deeply about the dad you want to be? About the connection you do or don’t have with your kids? About how you can best empower and love your child? When was the last time you spent quality one-on-one time with just your child without ANY distractions? If we aren’t engaged in these questions we can easily become another dad who suffered the curse of autopilot parenting.

Where are we going?

You don’t have to be a bad father to be on autopilot. The reality is, autopilot parenting is often good enough to manage things which is why we don’t suspect the coming crisis. It’s good that you can manage your job and make sure your kids are fed, clothed, and have a roof over their heads. With all the pressures of life and everything else we have to manage it’s easy to be too busy to think about fatherhood. Add to that the constant inundation of messages in our culture that prioritize momentary happiness over consequences. As was pointed out recently by Bill Dotson in a recent Podcast, dads have to battle for time with their kids like never before. If we aren’t in that battle we can end up cruising without really paying attention to where we are going. It’s as if we think we can parent like we breathe – without thinking about it. But being in autopilot not only means you aren’t paying attention to where you are going, you don’t know where you are going to end up. Till… you get there and realize its not where you want to be. That’s what happens to dads who aren’t intentionally thinking about and battling for their family. They end up in a place where their most important relationships lie in ruins. Its a desolate place! And when it comes to the connection we were designed to have with our kids, that desolation is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.

May you never experience it!

In our next post we will discuss the cure to the curse of Autopilot Parenting. Stay tuned. It’s not what you think.


Abiding Fathers is a Biblical fatherhood discipleship ministry committed to helping men be the dad…God wants them to be. It’s a movement of God that is “International-Relational-Generational”. Join with us. We need you!


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